It's back to business as usual for the big three gossip mags this week as Women's Day, New Idea and Women's Weekly try to top each-other in the celebrity hook-up scandals. And NI is out of the gate with quite possibly the juiciest. Finally, a mag has realised what everyone wants: The 'Ho Town Lowdown!'
It's got it all: Lindsay Lohan getting "visited" in rehab by ex-boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama, Nicole Richie's hard partying ways putting her bub in danger, and the shining light of all gossip, Britney Spears being betrayed by her lesbian lover.
It seems Britney and (now ex) personal assistant Shannon Funk were getting busy after partying with the extras from her latest disaster (or music video). While the NI initially ran the story of Brit getting hot and heavy with one of the background extras, Matt Encinias, it now seems she was more interested in her PA.
'Matt claims he went back to hook up with Britney. But it was Shannon who ended up in Brit's room and bed!' a (surely) reliable source reveals.
And obviously one to love-em and leave-em, Britney promptly fired Funk after finding out she had apparently arranged for the hook up with the aforementioned extra so she could cash in on the story!
Oh what a tangled web we weave when... well, you try to make sense of Britney's behaviour.
Continuing on with the girl-on-girl theme, it seems former talk-show host Rosie O'Donnell owns the world's biggest gay-dar, and it's aimed straight (no pun intended) at rival Oprah Winfrey. NI is reporting that openly out lesbian O'Donnell plans to bring old O out of the closet in her tell-all memoirs.
"Rosie is dishing the dirt on the biggest names in show business," our old friend insider tells NI. 'Oprah is on top of her hit list. She wants to reveal the truth about Oprah and ('best friend') Gayle - and she's holding nothing back."
Will she also reveal that Stedman's really a robot just like Katie Holmes?
Over in WD, it's slightly more straight shooting, with claims that Charlie's Angel Cameron Diaz has fallen for her The Holiday co-star Jude Law.
It seems the two got to bonding on the set of the film and are in love - but it didn't come easy. Cam put old Alfie through his paces because she didn't believe he was interested in getting serious with her.
"Jude had to think up all sorts of ways to convince Cameron he really likes her," someone's pal tells the Day. "He even offered to take her on a surfing trip to anywhere - the only stipulation being that she had to teach him how to surf."
And that's how you do it boys, just ask to see a girl in her swimmers. Of course she didn't take him up on the offer, but it's the thought that counts.
Other stories hitting the headlines this week:
Woman's Weekly delves into an alternate universe for its headlines, with a story about what if Princess Diana was still alive today. In this mirror world, Di's still haunted by dreams of the Paris crash which killed Dodi but not her, and why, just like Robbie Williams before her, she can't seem to break into the American market.
The latest craze, or a startling vision of things to come: WW has pics of Paris Hilton, holding not a Gucci handbag, but a baby. She's balancing it with a chihuahua in her other hand, but still, scary thought - is the world ready for a mini-Paris?
NI is reporting that Jessica Biel has issued an ultimatum to new boyfriend Justin Timberlake - stop boozing and hanging out with other women and stay home with me. "I've steered clear of the party and dating scene," Jessica says. "I prefer dinner parties and board games." How's a bloke supposed to bring sexy back playing Scrabble?
Finally, quote of the week comes from page 3 girl turned reality TV star Jordan, who reveals the honeymoon's over in her brain trust marriage to Peter Andre, in New Idea.
"We're always arguing - just like in our reality TV show. When the cameras stop we still argue. He gets lots of attention and we're both really jealous."
Is that jealous over who has the better boobs or jealous over who's next with the fake tan?
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