“The Hills,” which opens its third season on MTV tonight, is more convincing than “Friends” and just about any other comedy about female relationships because — as anyone who has ever been a young woman knows — undying friendships die.
After all those superlatives and hugs and I love yous, these separations can be bruising. Unlike romantic heartbreak, in which the terms are ultimately subjective (“He’s not that into me”), women’s friendships are commonly burnt down along rigid moral lines (“She’s disloyal, selfish, deceitful and manipulative”). You can brood over this stuff for years.
The spectacular falling-out of the two main stars of “The Hills,” Lauren Conrad and Heidi Montag, has become a polarizing object lesson played out in the supermarket tabloids. This reality show, which began as a spinoff of “Laguna Beach,” the documentary series about a group of well-off teenagers in Orange County, Calif., initially followed Lauren’s wan effort to establish herself as an adult in Los Angeles. But as a grown-up Lauren proved no Mary Tyler Moore, and adolescence kept pulling her back in.
The second season gave up on maturity and let Lauren be the woman-child she is. “The Hills” rapidly found its footing as a drama when Heidi, a trifling blonde known for her love of nightlife, her bust line and other superficial things, swelled to take up more emotional space. She displayed an uncommon gift for sycophancy and self-sacrifice, which seemed like a sin when put in the service of the no-good men in her life, and a virtue when used to serve Lauren or the publicity firm Heidi went to work for.
But by the season’s end a Machiavellian figure named Spencer had decided to indenture Heidi to girlfriendhood. And she went along, to the dismay of Lauren, who was sad to see her friend’s true nature but mostly sad to lose her cheerful lackey.
As the new season opens, Heidi is living with the vile Spencer but still pitifully imagining she might get back into Lauren’s good graces. Not a chance. The hard-hearted Lauren is crowing to her more boring friends about having moved on.
For the single girl — that’s Lauren here — high dudgeon about disloyalty is one (annoying) way to keep more coupley friends on the hook. Last season Lauren flew into F. Lee Bailey levels of bombast when she took to task a friend who had made out with a guy Lauren had dated. Lauren cited a “code” that made the other girl’s garden-variety flirtation unconscionable. Then she did the same to Heidi, making her feel beyond forgiveness for falling in love with a silly, flirty man about town.
This season Lauren outdoes herself in moral outrage, managing virtually to criminalize Heidi’s alliance with Spencer by turning their Pinkberry relationship into a kind of RICO violation. The couple, she says, has been perpetrating Internet calumnies — a Lauren sex-tape rumor! — against her. These tales have even made their way to Laguna Beach, where Lauren’s righteous family shares her indignation. What supermax prison could hold the duo that wrought such havoc for the Conrads?
At this point in a young woman’s life — when she must either establish herself as admirable in her community or become a laughingstock or worse — anxiety about reputation, friendship and romance is understandable. But as a major player in the repertory company of contemporary reality improv, which plays out in celebrity magazines too, the crusading Lauren is policed on one side by her reportedly strict parents and on the other by Us Weekly. This must be a particularly challenging line to walk.
It also offers some real-world suspense. If a sex tape featuring Lauren Conrad exists, her career might be altered; MTV has a stake in that. On the other hand if Heidi is a blackmailer who has invented this tape along with her evil consort, well, that’s something potentially libelous too.
The hysteria that often informs friendships among young women shouldn’t have to bump up against subjects like money, television channels, careers and libel. That combination seems to thwart the healing process. When a girl goes through a friend breakup, after all, she usually cries to her mother.
“But she told everyone I’m conceited,” you sob, and she says, “I know it seems like a big deal, but no one’s really thinking about your problems.” Eventually that sinks in.
When you’re Lauren or Heidi, though, the story shows up on the covers of the supermarket tabloids. “Lauren’s side of the story!” one says. Or “Why Heidi really loves Spencer!” Under these conditions it’s probably much, much harder for the moms to explain it all away.
THE HILLS
MTV, tonight at 10, Eastern and Pacific times; 9, Central time.
Created by Adam DiVello; Tony DiSanto, Sean Travis, Liz Gateley and Mr. DiVello, executive producers. Produced by MTV.
